Franz Josef Glacier

I went to the Franz Josef glacier yesterday. From the carpark it’s about a 15 minute walk to the glacier viewing area which is still three kilometers away from the glacier. Although there were signs posted about the danger of continuing past the track, I ducked under the barriers. After walking a little ways, I came to a big fence with more warning signs. I climbed over it.

Various warning signs about the glacier

I found where the track washed away and climbed down it. I began to think it was a bad idea when the rocks started to slide from under my feet but I was committed at that point and slid down crumbly footholds of gravel and mud until I reached the bottom. I spent hours exploring the glacier valley. I found several glacial waterfalls and undertook a difficult rock climb to get into one of them with thoughts of swimming that were chased away as soon as I felt the temperature of the water. I stood in the pool for a bit feeling the spray from the waterfall but it was so cold that my feet hurt. I saw mountain goats and cool rocks and I went all the way to the top of the glacier valley. I didn’t go up to the glacier because I was a bit scared of ice falls (I could hear them way up on the glacier) and because it was late and I wasn’t sure how long it would take me to get back. I hadn’t kept track of time very well and I didn’t want to climb in the dark. 

Two cool waterfalls and a closer view of the glacier

All was well until I got back to where the track had washed out. To get back onto the track, I had to climb up a cliff face. The cliff face was scattered with smaller rocks that had no hold and would skitter down the cliff face if you so much as looked at them wrong which did not fill me with trust in my footholds. I made it halfway up the cliff face relatively easily and I was perched at a 45 degree angle on the rock. I had a good handhold and one good foothold and if I could launch myself far enough with my left foot, I could reach a more level bit of rock with my right foot and stand upright. But either my legs had to be long enough or I had to be strong enough to make it because there were no more handholds and the rock had better not be at all slippery because down I would go with nothing but rocks to break my fall. I sat there for a while pondering my next move. I had taken my Chacos off to get a better grip with my toes and was holding their straps in my teeth but to make the next move, I couldn’t have their weight swinging around and throwing me off balance. What to do with them? Put them in my pockets? No, I couldn’t risk them hitting the cliff face and throwing me away from the cliff when I launched forwards. I decided to toss them ahead of me, committing myself to this path. The first shoe landed perfectly and stayed where it was. The second shoe began sliding down the incline. I reached forward, overextending myself on my handhold to grab the shoe and throw it again. It began to slide down again, faster this time and further from my fingertips. I overextended further to grab the shoe and throw it again. Thankfully, this time it stayed but I had extended myself too far. The handhold that I had was a straight notch in the rock. If there had been even a little bit of indentation, my fingertips would have had enough grip to keep me in place but as it was, I began a slow free fall, fingers sliding off their grip on the rock. Fuck. I could literally feel the adrenaline shoot through my body and my muscles begin to quiver. I knew the adrenaline would help me, but only if I could control it. Time slows down when you’re in danger and I was in danger. I knew I had about three seconds before I lost my hold completely. I knew that there was a solid area behind me that I could stand on but I also knew that I couldn’t hit it with the momentum that I had from falling from my handhold. The rocks would slide from beneath my feet and I would fall a significant distance onto the jagged rocks below. I needed something to slow my momentum but there were no solid handholds, and the bit of wheatgrass growing in a clump of mud wasn’t going to hold me. There was a supplejack vine just behind me and upwards but grabbing it meant throwing my momentum backwards even more and I’d have to trust that it would hold me because I’d have to launch upwards to grab it, leaving my one solid foothold. Hopefully I could grab the vine and swing until my feet hit the safe area. With no other options, I grabbed the supplejack vine with one hand and began a controlled fall across the cliff face, searching for solid ground with my feet and trying to stay connected to the cliff face with my other hand to avoid complete free fall and slow my momentum. My heart was pounding and I could feel the adrenaline giving power to my exhausted and hungry body. My feet hit solid holds and I balanced myself there for a few seconds, clutching the vine with one hand and just breathing. I still needed to get across the cliff face so my heart needed to slow or my muscles would be too shaky or even worse, my parasympathetic nerve would kick in and I would faint. After a few deep breaths, I was able to re-assess my situation. I decided to backtrack a bit and use the vine to go upwards, around the area that I had almost just fallen from. I retrieved my shoes and was able to complete the last bit without much difficulty, only a bit of fright from the sliding rocks underfoot. I sat on the trail and put my head between my knees, taking deep breaths. One. Two. Three. Relief at being alive overcame me and I couldn’t stop grinning. I came to New Zealand because I wanted to feel closer to Daniel and this was the exact thing he loved. Nature and taking risks, trusting body and mind to work in tandem to reach the goal, feeling adrenaline flood every receptor. As kids, this kind of experience was a regular thing. We’d go camping for a week and be set loose in the woods where we’d roam the mountains. We’d climb waterfalls and bluffs and anything else in our way. If you wanted to see the really cool waterfalls, you’d have to risk a near death experience or two like what I just experienced. 

Today, my shoulders and back are incredibly sore and my ankles protest any weight being placed on them but my brain is still singing from the adrenaline rush. I wanted excitement and adventure on my roadtrip and here I am, wishes coming true. 

I will probably heed the warning signs next time, though.